You’ve given me wisdom, then it’s tested to prove its presence,
considered when making great decisions,
so all can witness its existence.
I sometimes bypass sound wisdom beneficial for my growth,
complicate things when You make them simple,
I never seem to rest when You tell me to.
Fighting battles instead of rising above them,
I act as if I never was given wisdom, pissing and moaning
like I’m going to be suffering forever.
Lacking insight because I fail to ask with expectancy,
letting myself stay dormant instead of knowing
that in You lies all my plans.
It would be wrong to ask for more wisdom,
judging by the fact that I haven’t mastered what I have yet,
so my prayer is that You show me the proper direction.
Because if I move in my power, in my own intelligence,
and in my own strength, then I know hard times are ahead.
Without Your wisdom, I’m up a creek without a boat,
let alone a paddle, fairly expected for me
to be in over my head.
Teach me what I need to know,
because what I thought I knew is not good enough
knowing You is the difference….
I look as if the sun’s shining on my face,
never allow a hard time to disgrace me,
causing a negative thought to have its place.
Looking forward to better and brighter days,
where I’m not scrutinized mercilessly,
trying to remain in the Lord’s promises
instead of allowing fearful thoughts to have reign.
The battle doesn’t demand me to fight it,
nor conceive how the victory will be won,
but it does require me to trust in God by faith.
Pouring myself in Scripture to replace the fear of uncertainty,
certain that there’s nothing I can do to un-ring this bell.
Some storms are meant to endure;
maybe what’s birthed from this is another level
of strength, ensuring I’ll never fail.
Given me a greater thirst for righteousness,
surveying things I entertained, choices I’ve made,
doing away with even more things that can lead me astray,
because there are souls at stake,
people who rely on me to send a positive report their way.
So I’m grateful for the opportunity to reassess my life
in order to continue to live out my best days.
My hope springs up, the sun comes out,
I smile in the face of fear….victorious!
The Bowels of Injustice
In the bowels of injustice lies a message,
an opportunity to regain perspective about blind spots
one continues to ignore.
Imploring him to refine himself even further, he relents,
allowing the pain to wash over.
Drowning in the lavas of self-improvement,
still confused as to why he’s in the fire.
Thought his movement alone spoke for his continued rise,
but to much is given, much is required.
As badly as he wants to scream ”woe is me”
because the pain is a little extreme; he knows the truth,
that he’s a blessing; walking, covered and protected,
something a hard time could never undo.
His perception of himself allows him to step out of the throes
of affliction for a second to find a connection
between what he’s been through and where he’s going.
Trying to find purpose in anything, even suffering,
so he prays, hoping God shows him.
Hanging in the balance waiting for answers
while being rooted in faith is not for the weary,
but he finds himself tiring;
hopefully the fire’s burning off any weakness.
Persevering for the sake of a message
that will push him into his next chapter,
hoping sadness isn’t one of those blind spots,
cause that’s a mighty mountain to climb with sore legs….
Slowly trying to move items in,
hoping to make a home out of this garage,
no plumbing, nothing working,
just an empty space that needs to be filled,
desperate to be whole.
Inadequate in what cries forth as a lie
that keeps the space unoccupied,
almost like if doesn’t see that it needs this.
So it allows fear to weigh so heavily
that it keeps the door opening, the closer I get,
the more if seems to work against me.
Halfway in and halfway out, halfway doing everything
and that’s why nothing gets done.
Doesn’t even want it decorated, just empty,
a place to drive in and pull out, nothing attractive,
and definitely doesn’t want people to inhabit it.
Throws in a couple of cobwebs and the connection of arachnids
to keep people at a distance, but it’s ruining its own blessing,
and that’s why it doesn’t have it.
I’ll just leave a small trinket, hoping it will accept it
and watch for the next time I’ll be able to move something else in.
I don’t give up when the fair weather turns into rain,
I wet my beak with hope that the seeds I reach for will
bloom into the plants they are.
Have faith that a star’s death makes room in the sky
for ten more to come alive, so inside,
I won’t feel troubled by a light’s departure.
Vision requires understanding of times,
seasons and reasons why people leave,
and trying to cling onto someone exiting, can drag you
through rocky places with nothing ahead but grief.
I try to be smarter than the fool-hearted person I used to be,
exercising a little patience, staying grounded
when I try to fly out of my seat.
I just keep pressing until I’m breaking through the vortexes
restricting me from seeing the other side,
because I won’t be another star dying,
being replaced by ten more like me.
That would be a waste of everything I fought so tirelessly for,
to make it this far only to bow out to defeat…Not Happening!