I’ve tried, but find I can’t out-run
The past, and all the wrong I’ve done,
I run to detach stress and strain,
But get left breathless, cramped in pain.

I run in fear towards tomorrow,
With wounded heart, un-nerved by sorrow,
For life’s full of unpleasant things,
Nasty surprises and grief’s cold sting.

I’m running to escape myself,
To leave mental struggles upon the shelf,
But find my mind runs faster still,
So, the dark catches, and makes me ill.

I’m running to evade frustration,
Where I’m bound by life’s limitations,
But, everywhere, stark reality glares,
So, I’m forced to submit, with sad, resigned stares.

And, running can’t undo the pain,
Can’t erase regrets or break sin’s chains,
So, when legs tire and have to stop,
I fall to my knees and call to God.

“I’ve done it my way, Lord,” I cry,
“Can’t out-run my troubles…’though I’ve tried,
I’m out of stamina and out of time,
So dissatisfied with the woes of life.

I haven’t the strength to run again,
Can’t walk…can’t stand…there’s too much pain,
Scared of the future…hate my past,
Dislike the present, where heartache lasts.

My mind is in a black, charred tizz,
I don’t know what the answer is,
But running doesn’t seem to work,
For I’m still unhappy…and everything hurts”.

Then, God shows me the narrow gate,
Unwinds my paths and makes them straight,
And through the fields and trees and moss,
In the distance, I see Calvary’s cross.

My eyes descaled, I see The Light,
And Heaven’s wonders, shining bright,
As Jesus reaches out His hand,
My legs unbuckle and I slowly stand.

It’s like my soul has had a jolt,
And heart re-starts, with a lightning-bolt,
And now, the one thing in my view,
Is Jesus Christ, and His glorious hues.

Once again, my body starts to run,
But not to escape the wrong I’ve done,
Not in response to trials and pain,
But to run to The One who gives soul aim.

And once I set my focus on
My spiritual gain, through God The Son,
My running changes direction and pace –
Focuses on faith, to finish life’s race.

So, now I find I’m running to
The Shepherd, who does guide me through,
Gives me the will to face each day,
Keep me running, strong, down His narrow way.

And running now does feel alright,
For Christ has made my burdens light,
So I can run free all day long,
With soul humming Salvation’s song.

Written 2022

Short bio...."my name is Suzanne Newman and I live in The Midlands in England. I have always liked reading poetry, but only started writing it earnestly in 2018, when The Lord put it upon my heart. I find it cathartic and like to use poetry to share my struggles with the hope of encouraging others in a similar position. I suffer from clinical depression & anxiety & had cancer in 2015/16 & still battle with the effects of that treatment to this day."