On the outside, I may seem just fine,

But I’m slowly drowning on the worn inside,

For tears that won’t show on my face,

Build up inside, at tsunami’s pace.


This salty brine wears out the heart,

Seeps into every emotional part,

Erodes the body…unbalances mind,

Where negativity’s cruel and unkind.


Egged-on by self-doubt, guilt and stress,

These waters churn, leave joy a mess,

They fill my legs and middle too,

Then chest and arms, ‘til I’m soaked through.


Up to my neck in tears within,

Each waking moment’s long and grim,

My inner peace swims for its life,

And eddies round in current strife.


I feel as ‘though I cannot breathe,

Where this crying offers no relief,

It doesn’t seem to ease the pain,

Still frustration bubbles and doesn’t drain.


But, deep inside me, untouched by my wailing,

Is my redeemed soul, staying dry, whilst she’s bailing.

Her feet are not wet, for she stands on The Rock,

Which rises above heartache, grief, pain and shock.


Soul lives in a house that The Lord God has built,

Lives happy and safe, free from past life and guilt,

She looks to the future, where there is no pain,

No crying in Heaven, where bliss falls like rain.


Soul calls to my mind and heart with a great shout,

Stands tall, unafraid, unashamed, wings spread out,

She roars at the tears and the water that builds,

Telling it to recede, for this core spot is filled!


Emboldened in Christ, Soul has staked out her ground,

Which is Holy and sacred, where true peace is found,

The waves rush and froth, but have powerless foam,

And they cannot reach up to soak soul’s happy home.


Soul then slowly walks in her sanctum of peace,

Gently closes the door and thanks God on her knees,

She quietly, reverently, speaks to The Lord,

And explains all my pain, and why my tears pour.


Soul knows that The Father, The Spirit and Son,

Will gift hope and reassurance, while these waters run,

God gives me compassion, love, cares in great grace,

And refocus the mind onto trusting in faith.


And God will soak up all my tears like a sponge,

Refill heart with such peace, tell all fears, “move along”,

Christ Jesus will share all my burdens and pain,

Whilst The Spirit’s great fire evaporates all the rain.


I feel so much better now the cruel tide is broken,

And thankful to God…rested, now we have spoken,

I felt all alone, but know that’s not the case,

For the great triune God’s omnipresent, in grace.


So, thank you dear Lord, I know when tears run,

That you won’t let me drown, your love and power bung

The two holes, (known as eyes), from which pained waters flow,

And you fill them with hope, and a blessed, peaceful glow.

Suzanne Newman 2021

Short bio...."my name is Suzanne Newman and I live in The Midlands in England. I have always liked reading poetry, but only started writing it earnestly in 2018, when The Lord put it upon my heart. I find it cathartic and like to use poetry to share my struggles with the hope of encouraging others in a similar position. I suffer from clinical depression & anxiety & had cancer in 2015/16 & still battle with the effects of that treatment to this day."